9/11; 15 Years

15 years ago I was helping take care of a sweet older lady named Helen. I arrived a little early for my day shift to find Helen and one of her other caretakers in tears watching the television. It took me a moment to understand what I was seeing. No sooner had I sat down and started tearing up myself, we watched the second plane fly into the second tower. I remember vividly the small scream that escaped from Helen followed by heavy sobbing. I and the other caretaker sat there in stunned silence. We all three knew then that this was not just a tragedy but an actual attack.  For myself, it was the first time I'd really ever thought about an attack on our own soil. For Helen, it was a grisly reminder of her younger days listening to the news about Pearl Harbor being attacked. We as Americans have a sense of safety that few other countries in the world have. We feel a certain invincibility because we've heard our entire lives that we are the greatest country in the world. So when something happens it's a very rude awakening. And we ban together. We fly our flags high and unite as one. Now, 15 years later we are back to not only feeling that sense of invincibility but now we have this strange cockiness. We haven't just lowered our flags, we are burning them. We've divided over issues that while they are very much real, are not what defines us. Instead of working together to overcome our problems like we did so strongly after 9/11, we point fingers and fight between ourselves. We blame the other person and refuse to even attempt to see the others viewpoint. We have a problem and instead of working together to fix it, we expect the other person to give in to our demands. We have to stop. We have to remember that we are all neighbors. That we are blessed to be in a country that while has its faults and still needs a lot of work, is still one of the greatest in the world. Our problems exist. They are real. But what we are doing now is not how the problems are going to be fixed. Until we start working together, we are just going to create more problems. We should never forget who we are. The lives that have been lost and sacrificed so that we have the right to disagree. And above all, we must remember that every day is a gift. That tomorrow isn't promised. So we should say I love you often. Hug your kids every chance you get. Call your grandma. Kiss your spouse. Because we are all just one breath away from never having that chance again in this world. 

Have You Ever?

Have you ever looked at a strangers face and wondered if you had the same nose? Or eyebrows? Eyes, dimples, jawline? 

Have you ever stalked pictures of someone's kids on Facebook to see if you could see any sort of resemblance to yourself? Or tried to see your own children's smiles in their smiles? And when you see a slight similarity, do you doubt yourself and tell yourself it's just wish full thinking? 

Have you ever imagined a reunion full of happy tears and of being hugged so tightly, the missing pieces inside you get filled so completely you can't breathe? Have you ever imagined a reunion full of resentment and disappointment and being turned away from the one person you have spent your entire life hanging your hopes and dreams on?

Have you ever played the What If game so many times you have an entire lifetime of pretend memories made up and locked in a box deep down in your soul that you take out once in awhile and dust off just to cry over them again?

Have you ever wished for something so hard with your entire being but been too afraid of rejection or another dead-end that you just give up? That you just tell yourself it will never happen so why bother? But even while telling yourself to get over it, you know you never will stop hoping for a miracle.

Have you ever had to forgive someone who doesn't even know you exist? Have you ever had to forgive a loved one for actions and mistakes made before you were even born?

Have you ever? No? Good! You should get down on your knees and thank God for that. Because it's a special kind of hell on earth and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.