Malachi 3:3

A favorite old story I've always loved...


"Malachi 3:3 says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

This verse puzzled a group in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of them offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: 'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.' She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?'

He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it.'

I am a Christian

I am a Christian. Some people think that because of this I am a close minded fool. But I'm not. Just because my belief is different than yours does not make me wrong. I love all of Gods children even if they don't love or believe in Him. Why? Because He loves me and teaches me to love others. Do I disagree with the way some people live their lives? Absolutely. Do I think they are sinning? Yep! But do I judge them? Absolutely not. Because I know that there is no sin greater than another and if God forgives me and loves me in spite of MY sins than I better give that same consideration to every one else. I do not believe that by calling people sinners and throwing the Bible at them will bring them close to God at all. I believe it will push them away from Him and I never ever want to be part of why someone does not come to God. I believe that by living my life as a Christian and letting my friends and family see that and know of my beliefs through my words and actions of love, not hate, will be more beneficial to bringing them to Christianity than anything else. I am not perfect. I have a lot of growing left but I do try to live my life according to His word. I make mistakes. I sin. I make bad choices. But I'm trying. Some Christians think I am in the wrong for being accepting of others they deem sinners. Others call me a hypocrite because I do or says things they think are wrong. Even some that I defend call me names for believing in Christ no matter how accepting of them I am. Well for all of those that judge me that is fine. I will pray for you even more. And my prayer is that for them to know how greatly God loves them and wants them at His side and for them to accept Jesus Christ as their savior. I am no scholar, I'm not the smartest person out there and I can't quote you the bible front to back. But what I can tell you all is He does love you and He does not want a single one of us to die. Through Christ Jesus we have life ever lasting. This is the truth. This is the only way. That is my honest belief and my most fond hope is for the ones I love to come to know this and accept this. What is better than this type of love? Nothing! He loved us so much he sent His son to die for all of us. As a parent this literally makes me cry. To know you are sending your only child to die for a people that not only do not believe in Him but who some actually curse the name of? How utterly heartbreaking! Jesus died, and not an easy death but one of the most degrading deaths of all time, just for us. For me. And for you! So that we can have forgiveness. How truly amazing is that! He loved me enough, with all the things I have done wrong in my life, to be crucified. How can I not give Him the few small things He asks of me? They are not hard, they do not hurt or hinder me. I just must accept and love Jesus Christ as my savior and love my brothers and sisters as myself! To me its so simple. I don't understand why its so hard for others to accept. But I know it is. It hurts me to see my loved ones living a life away from God. Knowing that their hearts are in the wrong place. I pray for them daily. Even more than I pray for my brothers and sisters who are in Christ. And yet even as I pray for some I am mocked by both them and the ones who say they are in Christ. How sad and hypocritical is that? The world today is a scary place full of every sin and debauchery it can possibly hold. But I know that with Him by my side there is nothing it can do to me to break me because He has already conquered the world. I long for the day that I stand with Him and He tells me Well done my good and faithful servant. That will be the day that all of my pain, all of my sadness, all of my trials and tribulations will be awarded. That will be the day that I am justified. That I am forgiven. When Jesus declares my debts and sins paid! I can think of no finer praise than for His hand on my shoulder telling me Welcome home my special child. For I am His. He loves me more than any parent has ever loved their child. He knew me before the world existed, knew me so well in fact that every hair on my head has been accounted for. How awesome is that? To be loved and cherished that much? Especially w hen I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it? When in truth I have done everything to not deserve His love? But He loves me and wants me anyways? No finer love is there anywhere indeed! And the truth of the matter is, He loves each and every one of us the same. Even those who aren't even trying to follow His word. He wants you so very much. He died for you and cries out for you to come to Him. I know that this note will offend some of you and I am sorry for that but I am even sorrier for the fact that your eyes are that blind and your heart is that hardened that you can't accept my note as a note from my heart meant with nothing but love and good intentions. I pray for you, even if you don't want me to. But for all that I may offend maybe I will reach just one who might come to know God. Or not. I am no preacher. I do not have all the words to say to make myself sound smart or wise. I am but a humble servant trying to spread His word. And I will continue to express Gods love for us all until my last day. I want my friends and family with me in Paradise. I have lost too many that I will never see again and that is one of the saddest things I've ever known. My prayer for you all is this. My dear heavenly father, I ask of you to watch over those who are lost. I ask that you intervene in their minds and hearts so that they may know the true meaning behind your sacrifice. That they may know and accept your love and accept Jesus Christ as their one and only savior. Please keep them safe for as long as it takes for their eyes and their hearts to be opened. And please be with my brothers and sisters. Let them continue on their journey and help them to spread your word to others in a positive and loving way. May you keep their hearts in the right place and their minds filled with the knowledge and words they need to bring others to you. May you comfort those in need and lead those who are lost to your light. Amen.

Lea Woolery

Growing up I went through more suffering then most people do their whole life. Childhood was not a good time for me. Instead of cherishing the memories I try to forget. However there were some people through out my childhood that gave me nothing but good memories and unconditional love.
They were my childhood heroes. The first one was my grandpa. God bless him he loved us kids and gave us everything he had. He went home 11 years ago. A couple others were Steve and Lea. Steve was my grandpa's best friend and Lea was the woman that tolerated and loved them both. They all cared so much about all of us kids and more importantly taught me that I was a child worth loving. Steve went home 7 years ago. And Saturday Lea finally went to join them.
I loved each of them so very much and my heart breaks with the thought that I never explained to them what a difference they each made in my life. My only comfort is knowing that they loved me and knew I loved them as well. I'm sure right now they are all sitting around a table playing some cards talking about what a pain in the ass all of us here are and how much they love us any ways. And until the day I see them again I will remember them in my heart and pray that I will one day be as strong and good as they all were. Rest in peace guys, you are all loved so very much.

Father's Day

With everyone posting about Fathers Day, I figured I should say something as well! I unfortunately do not know my father but have been blessed with many men in my life that have shown me what real dads are! My grandpa was the first! He was great! That man gave so much for all of us and got so little in return. Oh the things I would redo if I had the knowledge and maturity then as I do now! It's been almost 13 years and I miss that man more than I can even believe. And then my husband! I was so lucky to find a man that loves me as much as he does. And the work he does to take care of us, literally overwhelms me. I don't know how he does it! And when I see him with our children and the joy and love and the complete trust they have in him I could not love him more. Thank you Nick for being the kind of daddy that I always wanted my children to have! And then there is Nicks daddy Randy. He was taken much too soon and there is a hole in all of our lives that will forever be missing until we see him again one day! I know he would be so proud of all of his boys and the men they have become. And Earl. Thank you so much for being Papa to our kids! The fact that you are the only grandpa in their life, when you didn't have to be, is more than enough but the fact that you love them so very much is overwhelming. They adore you so much and I can't thank you enough for being a part of our lives! And I am so grateful for you! And there are so many more! Uncle Leroy, Jeffrey, Jonny, Nathaniel! I am so proud of the men you all are! I see you with all of your kids and I can not believe how great you all are! As they say, anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy! And you all are very special and I love you all! And tho I don't know my earthly father I am lucky enough to know my heavenly father! And there ia no greater blessing or love then His! How wonderful it is to have a father that loves me so much that he would literally die for me! It is an amazing feeling to know that as much love that I have for my own children, it doesn't even come close to the love He has for us! There is a great peace in knowing that though I don't have a daddy here, I have one beside me that will never leave me and that loves me more than I can possibly imagine!
Happy Fathers Day to all the daddys out there! And a very special wish to the mommy's who are daddy as well as mommy, and the daddys that didn't have to be! Your strength is beyond admirable and you are truly special people!

Teachers

So this is gonna be a little lengthy (and probably sappy) but a friend posted something earlier today about teachers and how they should remember to act towards and be towards their students. And it really, really struck a cord with me and has been running around inside my head all day. I had a lot of instances in elementary school where I was yelled at, embarrassed and just basically made to feel like I was worse than worthless and unwanted. By teachers! They weren't afraid to make me cry or talk about how dirty I was or how difficult I was being, to the other teachers, or more importantly, in front of the other kids. I just remember so much of my childhood being mortified, before I even knew what the word was! They didn't know my home life. They didn't know what I had already been through in my very short time on earth. All they knew was that they could say or do whatever they wanted; they were in charge. That was a lesson I learned very young. Adults don't always protect you and are usually the ones that hurt you. But for those teachers that hurt me, there were others that did so much good for me and made me feel like I wasn't a complete waste of space! They never did anything extreme. Just simple, every day things really. They were nice to me. They told me I did a good job. They encouraged my passions (namely reading and writing). Even if they did get frustrated with me, they didn't show it. They treated me like everyone else. And for me, that was major! We never know the difference we can make in the life of a child, especially in one that doesn't have much self esteem or confidence. So for all my teacher friends, please remember that you may be the ONLY brightness in a child's life. Please act accordingly! And to Mr Ralf Trusty and Mrs Ruthie Nelson. Thank you for being a light in my childhood. Rather you know it or not, you really have made a difference in someone's life. And I know I'm not the only one to feel that way. You are wonderful people and I am very blessed to have had you as my teachers. God bless you both!

Life is Weird

Life is weird and sometimes crappy. You survive childhood by the skin of your teeth. Usually more damaged than normal. The ones that should love you and protect you are usually the ones that hurt you the most or turn their backs to your pain more than anyone. The ones that should see your pain and fear are the ones that avert their eyes. You go into your teens and young adulthood thinking you're tougher and smarter than those before. You make mistakes but all the while thinking you have it under control when in fact you're even worse off than you ever believed. Even though the lies you tell yourself speak the complete opposite. Your life starts spinning out of control before you even recognize that something isn't as it should be. And God willing, somewhere along the line something breaks through. Something finally sinks in that regardless of your past. Your actions. Your choices. You do not have to be the product of your circumstances. YOU decide what kind of person you will be. You decide that you are worthy of more than a passing glance and a grudging acceptance. Not because of your past but inspite of it! You find out that despite that you may not be the "best" person, you aren't that bad. You deserve more than the hand that life handed you. For me it was when I realized that although I didn't know my earthly father, my heavenly Father loved me enough to die so that he could know me. I realize I'm not perfect. I'm not the wife, mother, daughter, sister or friend that I could be. But I'm me. I don't have to try to be perfect for others. I have been made perfect by my Father.

Thank God that somehow I've been saved by His grace. I've been blessed to see miracles and wonderous things. I've even been blessed to witness heartbreaking scenes and circumstances that can bring someone to their knees. Blessed cause I know that no matter the fear or suffering, one day it will all make sense and I will be with the ones that went on before me. And I will be able to tell them everything I should have said while they were here. But until then, I just need to keep going. Keep trying. Keep reminding myself that I am blessed and that life is precious. And to tell those that I love that without them, I wouldn't be who I am today. And although I am not perfect I am grateful that they love me anyways. And though they may not be perfect either (cause none of us are), I am blessed and grateful to have people who love me for me, faults and all.

Matt Whitchurch

Yesterday I had the opportunity to say a few words and as always my mind went blank so I stayed in my seat. And regreted it so much. Cause then later, as always, a bunch of words started running around in my head that I wanted to say but just didn't know how to earlier. So here I am again, with one of my long winded posts. Because I write. It's what I do. When life doesn't make sense, I write. When I'm angry, I write. When I'm happy or sad or scared or whatever, I write. And its okay if nobody ever reads anything of mine. Most of its for my eyes only. But sometimes I feel I have to share. So if you have a moment or two or fourteen, go ahead and give this a read. And then say a prayer and kiss your loved ones and give thanks that we are here to say I love you to our friends and family as much as we want to.

Once upon a time there was a young teenage girl. And she had three very best friends. One, a flower child. One, a wild child. And one, an all American child. And the four of them played and played and played. And they laughed and laughed and laughed sometimes so hard they almost peed themselves. They ran around, got into some trouble but somehow managed to stay out of any real trouble. They kissed some boys. They cried some tears over some boys. They danced. They sang TLC songs at the top of their lungs while driving around town with the windows down and feet dangling out. They had fun. Boy did they have fun. And above all, they loved each other. They were there for each other. Whenever, wherever. They were family when some of them didn't have much family. When all she might have had was her friends.
It was a magical time and for that young teenage girl, the happiest time she had ever had in her life. Whenever that girl was down, or upset, or sad, she always knew that she could go to the home of that all American girl. It was a wonderful home with a beautiful mom and a handsome dad. A mysterious older handsome brother and a beautiful fun older sister. And a cute and funny little brother. It was the American dream to that other girl. There were many nights where the girls would be running through that house in order to grab that shirt, or fix their hair, or borrow $10 for gas from the dad. I know they had to have given the mom so many gray hairs. But they were kind anyways. They laughed. They always laughed. You could tell how much they all loved each other. It was to me, and still is, almost unreal how much they all loved each other. Even if half the time they wanted to beat each other (and yes, they still do)! But now, that family is hurting. That family is going through something that is unnatural and unfair and heartbreaking. Because that cute and funny little brother, the family favorite, the baby, lost his battle to a horrible thing called cancer last week.
And yesterday I watched the family that I admire so much lay their son, their brother, to rest. I watched as an American flag was folded and placed in the arms of a 5 year old little boy who will never get to go fishing with his daddy again. I watched as a fathers body jerked with each shot that rang out and a mother sob as the notes of Taps played out. And I prayed for a peace that I knew would not come for a long time for this family. I prayed that God comfort them. And I asked why. I told Him that it wasn't fair. It wasn't right. And I looked around at the incredibly breathtaking scenery around me and I remembered the words of the preacher who said "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away". Matt was given to this world for a too short a time. That is undeniable. But the difference he made in this world was profound. He saw good in people when others saw nothing but bad. He made you smile when all you wanted to was cry. He comforted you when he was the one in agony. He lived his life setting an example of what it means to be a good person. He was truly the epitome of a great man.
And Matt knew where he was going. Straight up, he said. Matt's story isn't over yet. In a way, it's really just begun. He will live on in the hearts of so many people. An uncle will take that little boy hunting and talk about that time his father got lost in the woods. A grandfather will look at his grandson and see the same eyes of the little boy who he once taught to shoot and fish and will pull out a picture to show him of that Big Catch that his daddy caught. His friends will talk about him around the kitchen table and laugh at the memories of a better, more care free time. Matt will live on. Forever. In the hearts and memories of every one he ever met. And one day, we will see him at those heavenly gates, laughing at all of us and asking "What the heck took you guys so long, let me show you around." But until then, I will always remember Bud and smile and remember one of the happiest times in my entire life. I'll remember dragging him and my little brother out with us to cruise town because, as we told the adults, how much trouble can we get in with the two of them tagging around. Which, I can tell you now, was a frightening amount :)
So until we meet again Bud, I'll remember you with a smile and call Stubby an insulting name and give her a kick every once in awhile for you.
Rest in Peace Matt Whitchurch. We'll see you soon....

Be Strong & Courageous

A good friend asked me today how I still believed in God after all of the horrible things that had happened to me as a child. My response to that is always 'how can I not believe'. If there is an evil, which I know there is, then there must be a good. I know why bad things happen. I know why bad things happen even to the best of us. I don't like it. But I accept it. I have my faith to comfort me in the face of evil and sorrow and fear and everything else this world throws at me. I understand how people don't believe. I really do. But when the absolute worst happens I couldn't imagine not having Him to lean on. My husband, children, friends and family can only do so much. My hope. My comfort is in the Lord. I am never completely happy or satisfied in my life unless I am in an active relationship with Him. I know that no matter what, I can turn to Him. That when I hit rock bottom and I have no way out I can lean on Him and let Him take the wheel, and I will be okay.
But it's hard. Especially when you get news you can't understand. When one moment everything is fine and the next you're left gasping for breath from the punch life just gave you. It's hard. And I hate it. And I'm struggling to accept things and be positive and not let evil win this round. But again, it's hard. So please pray for understanding and comfort and hope and healing and everything else that we all could possibly need right now.
And to my family and friends hurting and scared right now, know I am praying for you. Know that no matter what petty fights or squabbles or hard feelings any of us may have with each other, we are family and you are loved and things will be okay. I am grateful to be a part of this family even if the whole lot of you are quite possibly certifiably insane! Just remember to take it all one day at a time and have faith and lean on one another and on Him.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “ …Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Family Struggles

There's a quote that I really love and that always stands out to me around the holidays. "Like branches on a tree. We all grow in different directions but our roots remain as one."
Our family isn't perfect. There's been times where we've stopped talking to one another. There's been times where we've all made mistakes. There's even been times where I didn't know if I'd ever see certain family members again. But like the quote says, our roots remain the same. Sometimes, if we're very lucky, we find our way back to one another. And what we all have to remember is that tomorrow isn't promised. No matter what someone's done to you in the past, we are family. And there's not that much of us left. Our children are growing up and will one day have their own families and as much as we talk about them, our memories are not theirs. They won't know about the tire swing. Or old man Owen. Or the dang mean emu's of Leonard's. Or know the greatest man any of us ever knew. One day those memories will be gone, along with us. So appreciate today. Love each other while we have the chance. Forgive past grievances and concentrate on today. Not a one of us are perfect but every single one of us are worth it, I promise! You will be amazed at what a simple phone call or text message can do to mend a relationship or heartache. Or how much it might mean to someone. Even if I don't see you very often, or I only cross your mind on occasion; every day you're in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that we always find our way back to each other and that we all know that we are loved. And with that I'll leave you with another quote that I'm pretty fond of. "Forgive others. Not because they deserve it but because you deserve peace!"
I love each of you and am so grateful for our dysfunctional, crazy wonderful family! Merry Christmas and I wish you each health and happiness in the new year!

Grandpa

14 years ago today the world lost a great man and I lost the one person in my life who had never hurt or disappointed me. Although the pain of his passing has eased it is still one of my greatest sorrows. That my husband and children will never know the man I called papa and who showed me more than anyone ever has, how to be a kind, caring and giving person. Although God knows he wasn't perfect, he was pretty amazing. Nick has always said that I would not only give someone the shirt off of my back but that I'd give it to them even if it meant freezing to death myself. And it's true. One of the things I define myself by is my need to help others. In anyway I can. And I credit my grandpa for that. The man worked and worked and gave and gave and was never more than a step ahead. But he was happy. He was content. He had family that loved him and his family was well fed and no one he ever met would lack for a roof over their head. I've lost count of how many people called my grandpa's house home for at least a little while. If he saw a need, he did his best to fill it.
I will never get over his loss. I know this and I am happy for it. When you lose someone who was the greatest contribution to the person you are, you shouldn't get over it. But you do grow from it. You learn from it. You heal. Just in a different way than you expected. And you decide to live your life in a way to honor your loved one. And I hope that I've done that. I hope he'd be proud of me. Cause I am so very proud of him!

Mom

Happy "Birthday" to my momma :) 30 years ago today a beautiful and scared young lady gave birth to me. She could have chose a very different (and easier) path instead of the one she did and I'm so very grateful she didn't. Things have not always been easy but I am here today because of you. I am not always perfect. I have many flaws. But I think I've turned into a pretty decent woman and you have helped me become that woman. You gave me a chance at life while still basically a child yourself. And now, God willing, my own children will grow and have children of their own and so on and so forth. All because you chose life.
You chose me.
Thank you momma. I love you forever...

Grace DeGraffenreid

Early this morning the world lost an amazing little girl named Grace. If you didn’t have the privilege of getting to meet her just know that Grace was the true definition of a warrior princess. From day one she has fought with a strength and wisdom beyond her years. She has defied the doctors predictions from the get go and fought with an amazing grace that was so befitting of her name. And with all of the sass of any true princess! There isn’t a man (or woman) around that could say no, or even wanted to say no to, her little princess requests! And as blessed as we were to know her, she was equally blessed with the family that God so graciously loaned her to. Watching them through the night and this morning was a humbling experience for me. The way they gathered around each other to support one another. How they kept putting each others needs ahead of their own, time and time again. The way that they surrounded Grace and her parents and brother with so much love to support them in their time of need. Where Grace got her determination and heart from is no wonder! You are all simply amazing.

I truly believe that Grace was here for a reason; to show us all how to truly live and love. Every single person who ever met her knew immediately that she was love personified. She lived and loved with a fierceness that most of us are never smart enough to learn how to do.

A song has been playing in my head for hours now and I really think that she knew exactly what life was all about. That no matter how many mountains you have to climb, and knowing full well that there was always going to be another mountain around the bend, life is all about the climb. It’s about spreading love and laughter and helping each other along the way. It doesn’t matter how difficult the mountain is, it’s about getting there! Making the journey worthwhile! And boy did she and her family make it worthwhile. She was a very happy girl who knew without a doubt how well she was loved. And she loved her family just as much, especially her mommy, daddy and big brother! The strength of the 4 of them is something I can’t even describe. She was a very lucky girl.

And as happy as her family made her, she is happier now than any of us can comprehend. Today she won her battle and I know she ran straight into the arms of our Father. She is free from all pain and discomfort. She is now skipping and dancing with the angels and with the family that’s gone on before her to help plan her celebration party. Cause we can only imagine the party that was waiting for her when she arrived! I’m sure it’s still going on and that there is a line of angels a mile long waiting to get their nails painted by Gracie!

And now it’s our turn to carry on the rest of our journey. With the same love of life that she had. As hard as I know it will be we can’t give up. Cause she would whoop us if we did! Love and be loved. I think that was her secret to life. She loved so hard and was loved back just as much.

God bless you Gracie. Thank you for teaching us all so much in such a short time. Thank you for being our Saving Grace. We will see you soon kiddo…